HLandS Entry #13 – Whispers in the Moonlight

Name: Morgan York
Title: Whispers in the Moonlight
Genre: Adult contemporary fantasy
Word count: 139,000 words

Hook: It’s hard enough for Ama Dearborn when her family moves from New York City to an alternate dimension, but made so much more complicated when she discovers she has powers no one else has—control over the Air Element. These powers make her an ideal soldier. But for someone who still sleeps with a teddy bear, this is a problem.

Line: He stared transfixed at the splints on her fingers, his admiring eyes casting them as battle scars rather than signs of failure.


        The sky was green.

        This was the only part of the photograph Selda could see. Its top half stuck out of the nightstand drawer thanks to the way she’d shoved it out of sight earlier, making the picture crease. Normally, she would feel concern for the destruction of such an important photograph. But now, amid the intermixed fear and frustration the photograph caused her tonight, she felt no inclination to rescue it from permanent damage. Instead, Selda continued sorting the laundry, organizing the clothing items in separate piles on the bed she shared with her husband.

        The light from the lamp on her nightstand fanned up onto the wall, forming a soft-edged triangle that illuminated the wall’s yellow paint. The green chips of stained glass in the mosaic-style lampshade reminded her of the sky in the photo. Often, Selda did not like pictures of herself–people had asked her since early childhood not to squint her bright blue eyes in pictures, a habit she professed not to care about but that eroded her self-esteem for years. This photo was no exception to this rule. But her resentment toward the photo had nothing to do with her squinting eyes. Such fixation on her appearance had vanished along with her adolescence, years ago.

        The sky outside, the Earth sky she lived with now, sparkled with nighttime stars. The water ran softly in the bathroom, a soundtrack for the swish of a toothbrush. Selda did not consciously acknowledge the noise, and perhaps would not have noticed it unless it was not there.

**Please remember, only participating agents should comment on these posts for the duration of the contest. Any other comments, including requests from agents who aren’t participating in Hook, Line & Sinker, are welcome AFTER the contest closes at 7pm EDT on Wednesday.


  1. Unfortunately I don’t rep fantasy, but good luck!

  2. More, please!
    Please paste into the body of your email: your cover letter, synopsis and first three chapters, and send to: Submissions(at)akaliteraryllc(dot)com. In the subject heading please state: HL&S – Requested by Terrie – with your entry number.


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