Fizzy Takes Manhattan

Hello my darlings!

Last week was the famed BEA week in NYC.

*cue Oooooh’s and Ahhhhh’s*

Okay, so I know I *technically* didn’t have a real reason to go, like pimpin’ a shiny new book or anything, but oh snap, BEA? *grabby hands*

And so I set off on a jet plane for the first time in a decade and made my way to NYC for the first time ever.

I had a slight To-Do list for NYC, which I will share with you:

1. Eat pizza.

2. Meet peoples.

3. See…things.

4. Srsly. Pizza.

With those solid priorities in place, I sauntered out of JFK and hailed my first cab. And then immediately feared for my life because holy shit do NYC cab drivers not give a single fuck about anything. I couldn’t stop smiling in the cab because I figured, hey, if I’m not certain I’m about to die in a fiery crash, it’s not the real NYC experience, right?

Let it be noted that it was so ridiculously hot the four days I was there. Like, Satan’s ass crack hot, you guys. I don’t do well in heat.

I rarely do well in anyone’s ass crack.

My amazingly lovely agent, Sarah LaPolla, offered to be a tour guide of sorts while I was visiting.

fizzynyc

And tour we did!! I’m pretty sure we crammed a week’s worth of stops into about six hours. I regret nothing.

The blisters on my feet begged to differ, but who asked them…

Things I went all tourist-y on: Natural History Museum, 5th Avenue, Times Square, Tiffany’s, Broadway, Rockefeller Center, the West Village Pier, a place called Big Gay Ice Cream, and so on. I saw all the things from afar; The Statue of Liberty, the Freedom Tower, the Empire State Building. ALL THE THINGS!!!

I’m also like 90% certain I saw a dead person on a stoop, but I was forbidden to actually check because that’s apparently when the smart people like me get to see first hand the stories of unsuspecting visitors being strangled by someone on meth. Or something. That story is loosely translated.

Can I just say, the West Village is pretty much my new favorite place on Earth. I could have just stood there on that pier all the live long day basking in the OMG-ness that was NYC. I swooned.

And then I remembered there was a bitchin’ party to get to, and ran!

At said bitchin’ party, I walked in, stood in awe of the fact that there were like 100 people in a very tiny space, and then heard the words, “Summer, this is Janet Reid.”

And then I had a stroke.

Cause, uh, it was hot and shit. Not because I mentally fangirled so hard I broke something…

My sweaty self was then grabbed by THE Janet Reid in a hug. A HUG.

After I regained consciousness, I stood there staring at her as she went back to her conversation and heard people whispering, “I’ve known her for years…I’ve never been hugged…”

That right there was worth the cost of the trip, kids. JANET REID OMG.

Then she morphed into a shark and chomped up an unsuspecting party guest, lest you think her less sharky than before.

Seriously though, she is AMAZING. I swear to god I almost curtsied as a reflex…

After that, I met just, everyone. All the people. Agents, editors, authors, publicists. Lordy can the booze flow at a publishing event. Livers of champions, these kids have. I sat there chugging water like it was my job hoping that no one saw me double fisting cocktail napkins to my raining forehead.

And I know I could probably name the people that I met and how much I lurved them, but then I would feel like a name-dropping doucheface and I don’t want to be that person…

After the party, I was escorted through Times Square at night and holy crap. LIGHTS. PEOPLE. ACTION.

That place is overwhelming in the best way when you are just passing through.

It was right about that time the 90+ degree heat, long day, and excitement caught up to me, and I started to feel…iffy. Like, iffy enough that on a super crowded subway someone gave up their seat for me. I wasn’t lookin’ so hot.

And that’s how I ended up heat exhausting myself to the point where I FREAKING MISSED BEA.

Yup. I missed BEA. I had to scramble at the crack of dawn to try and cancel all the appointments, coffee dates, lunches, meetings and so ons that I’d made and feel like a complete fuck-all for standing everybody up.

If you are one of those people? I AM SO SORRY. I seriously couldn’t feel worse about that.

My name is horribly misleading. I hate the Summer time, I hate the heat. And it hates me right back. I spent my BEA hours on a couch in front of a fan trying to get my stomach to stop lurching and my pulse below 130. Good times.

I did take my couch-ridden time to order NYC takeout. So, like, silver lining?

Determined to not waste the rest of my trip, I sheer willed myself into feeling better by Saturday night. There were people! There was food! There were drinks!

There was Sean Ferrell buying me whiskey for my first ever taste just so he could laugh at the faces I made…

Mmmm…Whiskey…

Not a huge fan of whiskey, methinks…

I am naming Mr. Ferrell because he’s pretty much my new favorite person. Watching this Vine video I’m sure you can see my blatant adoration…

Just an Average Saturday Night…

Seriously though, he’s good people. Go buy his books. *nods*

Everyone on this trip was so amazing. Seriously, I have feels for these people.

Including all those present when I was certain I saw Miley Cyrus in a Doc Martins store and got so distracted that I tripped over a manhole that was all sunken into the street.

“Wait, were you serious? Why didn’t we stop and go back!” someone asked as I scrambled away with aย noticeableย limp. “I WAS BUSY TRIPPING OVER MANHOLES!” was my reply.

Because obviously, right?

Manholes included, rest assured I did make a frequent ass out of myself as per my nature. Like when I was trying to get through airport security on the way home and they asked me my name. I had been prepping for this. My brain was all, “I got this bro.”

And then I get up there and proudly said THE WRONG NAME.

I mean, honestly. Really, brain? You’ve been married for a decade and choose that exact moment to shout out your maiden name? Swell.

But all in all, the trip was AMAZING. So much awesome. So many fabulous people that I can’t believe I had the crazy fortune of getting to hang out with.

Also, I ate the best goddamn bagel that I’ve ever put in my mouth ever. I’m not even kidding. Eat bagel, see Jesus.

I had my pizza, I saw the things, I made new friends, I snergled ALL the people.

The one regret I have is that I was so busy meeting, greeting, seeing, and doing that I forgot to take more than like fifteen pictures the entire visit. And like half of those were of dinosaurs at the museum…

Clearly this means I must go again, right? RIGHT.

In the meantime I may spend moments photoshopping memories…

Thank you so much to everyone who made that trip the most brilliant thing ever. The sirs, the tour guides, the GIF-ers, the general makers of shenanigans. You all are so beyond fantastic and made my Fizzy little heart swell with joy.

Well, that and the fucking heat… But yeah, mostly you guys.

I hope you all are having the most awesome week ever!

Until next time,

Peace, Love, and The Big Apple!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

11 Comments

  1. Sounds so fucking awesome! I’m sorry about the bitch heat cramping your style. Fuck hate the heat.

  2. Oh. That’s me. Valkyrie.

  3. I just love your posts. ๐Ÿ™‚ And I’m glad you liked NYC! It’s my favoritest place in the USA. ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Wow! Sounds fab (except for the heat stroke thing…) I am enjoying BEA vicariously through other people’s blogs this week. This was awesome! Thanks soooo much for sharing. ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Oh, and JANET REID! Squeeee!

  6. I am so sorry we didn’t get to meet ๐Ÿ™

  7. Glad you had fun darling ๐Ÿ™‚

    Sucks that the sun tried to kill you. I know your pain ๐Ÿ™

    I’m super jealous and think that you definitely need to go again. Because I bet you missed out on the best breakfast type egg sandwich you have ever put in your mouth.

    Maybe the stars will align and I’ll get to go next year and meet a YOU!! That would definitely be worth a trip to NYC ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Only you would go to BEA and do the tourist /party thing so hard that you miss BEA but recover enough to party some more the next night. LOL Seriously, heat stroke is serious and I hope you are recovering quickly and are planning to visit NYC next in a winter blizzard. Don’t fret Fizzy Friend. You probably met the most important people at the parties anyway. Rest up. MWW is like what 7 weeks away. See you there. I’m expecting a Famous Fizzy Squeeze when I see you. I’ll be sure to bring dark chocolate to help keep us both going throughout the 3 days.

  9. Heat stroke is nasty, you did the right thing to take care of yourself. And you still did so much! I was in NYC 10 yrs ago and loved it (though my friend and I extensively toured the subway and accidentally ended up in Brooklyn, whoops). Would love to go back for a publishing thing.

  10. I was so sad when I saw you got sick in NY on Twitter! I was like, “Nooo! Undo! Undo!”

    But I’m happy you had so much fun, and met so many wonderful people (like freaking Janet Reid). It’s a magical place, isn’t it? Also…

    “Can I just say, the West Village is pretty much my new favorite place on Earth.”

    *cries because of how intensely I agree with this statement* *also cries because of the onslaught of childhood memories this sentence has triggered* *cries more because I probably won’t ever be able to afford to live there again*

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