Conversing with Grapefruits

Hello my loves!

All right. Gird yourselves. I’m angry.

And I mean, shaking, profane, let’s take this outside angry. (By outside, I generally mean into private chat online. Because don’t really punch people, okay guys?)

But, as angry as I am, I am going to be very careful. Because if I spout off with the feelings I’ve got racing through my brain, the people who need to read this blog just won’t.

Fair warning, there could be some triggery definitions below.

*deep breath*

The state of Indiana had very tumultuous week. A federal judge struck down a gay marriage ban and for three days, same-sex couples all over the state raced to get hitched. By Friday, our states’ Attorney General filed an emergency motion effectively halting any further marriages.

Having been born and raised in Indiana, my social media feeds were very vocal with opinions on what was happening in our fair state.

Some people were furious at first, then thrilled. Some were elated at first, then devastated.

I have my own opinions and feelings on the week, but I’m not here to give you opinions today. I’m here to give you facts.

FACT: noun: something that truly exists or happens : something that has actual existence

That was taken from Webster’s Dictionary. That is the definition of what a fact is.

Still with me? Ace.

During the hullabaloo in my state, there were arguments and rhetoric flying in all directions. I generally know enough to stay out of them. It’s like never reading the comments section on articles. You aren’t going to gain a damn thing doing it.

But every once in awhile, I will get pulled into an innocent conversation that suddenly turns into sheer and utter nonsense.

And every time I hate myself for falling for it.

It’s not good for my blood pressure.

I could sit here forever and wax philosophical on all the different arguments for and against gay marriage.

But nope. FACTS.

Examples of a fact: Water is wet. Fire is hot. If there are almond M&Ms within five feet of me, I will eat them.

Those are actual facts. Indisputable. Nonnegotiable.

Here is an example of a non-fact: Orange jelly beans are the best flavor. Cats are better than dogs as house pets. Summer is the best blogger evar.

These statements aren’t facts. They are opinions.

OPINION: noun: a belief, judgment, or way of thinking about something : what someone thinks about a particular thing

Now, I totally think orange jelly beans are boss. Cats are awesome. I can’t back up that blogger bit though.

No matter what, no matter how firmly in my very bones I believe those statements to be true as a fact, they aren’t. They are my opinions.

Why am I SAT prepping you?

Because of this sentence right here:

“Gay people are no different than pedophiles and people who have sex with animals.”

To most of you reading this, you will roll your eyes, know that is utter catshit, and shake your head that people still believe it.

In every conversation I’ve ever participated in or witnessed about homosexuals in general, not even their right to marry, just gay folks existing, someone always drops that bombshell.

When it happens, it closes things down. People arguing opposite resort to name calling, the person declaring gay people are equal to pedophiles say, “HA! You couldn’t prove otherwise so you ran away! Proves I’m right!”

Every. Single. Time.

As I said, I could discuss for hours various facts and deep-rooted opinions about sexuality in general. But I’m not gonna.

I’m going to focus on that one sentence.

Because for the purpose of this blog, I don’t care what your opinion is. You are gay? Cool. Does your religion specifically call for you to admonish gays? Swell. You think everyone should just leave each other alone to live life? Neat. (Hey, last person, come see me after the blog. We should have pizza.)

None of those things matter. It is all opinion and variations of personal facts. Not universal facts, but personally held facts. As in: NOT A VALID FACT.

Here is the knowledge bomb: No. Being gay is in no way shape of form anywhere even in the same neighborhood as being a pedophile or engaging in beastiality.

Most of you are thinking, “Well. Duh.”

But people don’t know that’s an actual fact. People really walk around thinking that if gay people are allowed to walk this earth, we are all one hot step away from marrying five-year-olds and fucking frogs.

How do I know that? Because the people in the great state of Indiana, the politicians who MAKE OUR ACUTAL LAWS, say these things while in actual legislative session.

Just yesterday I had someone throw this point at me. Gays = pedophiles=beastiality

Again. That is incorrect.

The main thing missing from a homosexual relationship and anything to do with pedophilia and beastiality?


CONSENT: verb: to agree to do or allow something : to give permission for something to happen or be done

A mutual sexual relationship between two adults of the same gender has consent.

A relationship between an adult and any person under the legal age of consent is LACKING consent. Until the child is of legal age, they are not able to give consent. Not now, not ever.

An animal is incapable of speaking human words with human understanding, and therefore will always be unable to issue consent to any sexual relationship with a human. It will literally never happen.

Gay people can have consensual sex with other consenting adults.

Children and animals cannot.

Because if an adult tried to have sex with children or animals lacking their consent, that would be rape.

RAPE: verb: to force (someone) to have sex with you by using violence or the threat of violence

It seems ridiculous to have to spell this out. It’s insane. It’s basic human knowledge here.

So, if you are insisting that gay people having sex is the same thing as raping a child or an animal, I’m now thinking about you.

Why would you think that? What about you makes the idea of consent nonexistent in your mind? Why is that the immediate jump in so many conversations?


Seriously. That’s my first instinct. If the first thing that pops into your head when you think of normal, healthy adult relationships is violence against children and animal cruelty? I’m scared of you. Your mind is not safe to me. You immediately set off my alarms of someone who doesn’t understand basic human feelings. That violence is your first thought leads me to believe you are a possible threat for sexual violence.

And I’m guessing you’ve never thought about that. I’m guessing your back is bristled and you’re already mentally arguing with me, or calling me a stupid bitch, or a hundred other plans of defense.

Because I bet you really, really don’t like to be thought of as someone who would be an actual rapist just off my snap judgment. I bet you wouldn’t want me to tell everyone I speak to that you are now a suspected sexual deviant based off my opinion. I bet you think it’s a completely insane leap to think you might be sexually malfeasant.


That’s where my patience ended, in case that didn’t translate.

Absolutely fuck anyone who carries this level of stupidity on, especially after having it laid out in blatant, factual terms.

After I get past the hair on the back of my neck standing up from the horrific leap it takes to get from loving adults, to violence, and I get past my volcanic blood pressure at having to share the planet with someone as fucktacularly stupid to think those things at all, I realize this:

Comparing gay people to sexual predators is a last ditch effort by a person who has no other justifiable basis for their opinion they haven’t expressed in this conversation, so they have resorted to the absolute lowest possible blow they can muster.

OR: They can’t defend their hatred so they roll it out with terror attached to it. “There HAS to be a reason the gays disgust me. THERE HAS TO THIS MUST BE IT!”

OR: They aren’t capable of thinking for themselves and are regurgitating the same tired ass bullshit that’s been spewed for eons.

How about instead of billowing out clouds of soupy servings of fucking anti-knowledge, you man up, accept that you aren’t going to change anyone’s opinion in that conversation, pick up your ball, and GO THE FUCK HOME.

I am very aware that if you are reading my blog, chances are high you aren’t anywhere close to needing the information in this post. However, as the world is vast, and we all have at least one Facebook friend who is likely a distant relative who managed to find a WiFi signal in their hateful, racist, ignorant, bigoted Cave of Wonders, you will likely run into this stupidity several times.

In these instances, to save yourself the possible aneurysm of dealing with the personification of argumentative grapefruits, link them to this blog.


And zen.


Now, please enjoy this offering of a naughty cat GIF.

Until next time,

Peace, Love, and Intelligent Grapefruits


  1. I don’t know how you manage to be so damned funny and get the point across. I have a relative who thinks like this and I avoid that person.

    I’m thinking of how to send this link anonymously. 🙂

    Well done as always.

  2. Summer,

    I applaud your anger-fueled rant, and I completely agree that it should lead us to all go to level-headed factual discussions that address the actual issues that never even came close to being discussed, at least the one side. Also, I was thoroughly offended by the pedophile thing, and the fact that I’m a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and the person flung the “those gays are all pedophiles” comment was both triggering and offensive to the nth degree. So, thank you for blogging. Hugs not hate.

  3. BRAV-O. I do not understand why when people see something different they call it evil, throw holy water at it and run away, taking as many followers as they can. PEOPLE MAKE NO SENSE. We CAN ALL live on this world being our own individual person and be happy. I have no idea why this concept is so difficult. I applaud your guts to say ALL THE THINGS.
    Rock on! *fist bump* Together those of us who know what is right will take over the world.

    • I have the answer… People are STUPID! Don’t hide behind religion- Jesus’ greatest law is TO LOVE ONE ANOTHER- not just the people you like or agree with but ALL people. Don’t hide behind your politics- we are all equal under the constitution…asshole! The only thing you hateful bigots can fall back on is your stupidity. News flash- being uneducated is not an excuse it’s a damn shame! Knowledge is power. Kindness is a drug. Peace should be contagious. Peace to you and yours Summer 🙂

  4. Sorry… That last one was me. Didn’t mean to be anonymous

  5. Thank you thank you thank you THANK YOU. That’s all I have to say. Just, THANK YOU.

  6. I couldn’t have said this better myself. Good work!

  7. *slow claps* Beautiful.

  8. I always knew it was stupid for people to say it, but I think that was the best summation of what it is the most ridiculous statement to make. Thank you for giving me some firepower against ignorant people. Why can’t everyone just live and let live?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.