Properly Pulling a Fizzygrrl

Hello my darling readers! I have emerged from the bowels of sick Fizzy Hell!!!!  About three weeks ago I was struck down by a super jerky set of germs that have been having a dandy time kicking my ‘tocks, but it appears I am finally free-ish of their rage! But, it has also been far too long since my last blog, so I shall keep shaking my fists at the evil germers for their selfish assholery. My good pal, Dee Romito, who is fabulous and you should tewtally follow her blog by the by, created something on Twitter a month or so ago called, #PAFG, or Pulling a Fizzygrrl.  This is a delightful little hashtag that is used to detail all of the embarrassing things that seem to happen to me on a regular basis.  I have been absolutely thrilled to see other people adding their moments of OMG to the tag as well!  Nothing makes a gal feel warmer or fuzzier than watching someone else detail their own #PAFG moment. In the spirit of these moments, I thought I should dedicate a blog to a few exclusive #PAFG moments that are too big for the 140 character limit of Twitter. For example: Last week, after finally dragging my sick self to the doctor, I was schleping through Walgreen’s looking for medicines when saw an old woman looking for nail polishes and asking the cashier for pointers.  Well, ya see now, I happen to looooooooove nail polish.  I might even be a connoisseur of some sort.  Or a polish hoarder.  Either way. So, I snap into action, start recommending brands to this fine lady, discussing skin tones, what colors will work, top coats, the whole nine.  She gets very excited, is thanking me all over the place, and as...

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Fizzy Follies – Episode 1

Hello my darling readers! If you have followed my antics for any amount of time, you may have noticed that I have an unfortunate penchant for accidental public nudity. My pants tend to fall down in public a lot.  And well, my boobs have minds of their own, and Thelma and Louise seem hell bent on freeing themselves from their underwire prisons whenever they damn well feel like it. I also have been known to unintentionally leave my house naked.  No.  Seriously.  I’ve walked out to take my daughter to school only to look down and realize I have forgotten my shirt.  And there was the time my husband needed to leave late one night to go into work for some Super Computer God emergency and upon realizing he had forgotten his debit card, I ran out to the sidewalk after him, completely bare bewbies naked from the waist up. Which brings me to the story of this blog. When my son naps in the afternoon and my daughter is at school, I have been known to occasionally take a nap as well.  But when I nap, I don’t do this pansy-ass-wearing-clothes-dozing-on-the-couch nonsense.  I climb into bed just like I would at night.  And if you recall my Panty-Snatching Kitteh post, you will remember that I sleep in undies, and that’s about it. Last week, I was partaking in one of these blessed naps.  And since I haven’t been getting a lot of sleep as of late, when I nap, I snooze hard. According to Murphy’s Law, when a child is napping, that is the exact time that people decide to come and ring your doorbell.  This is a pain in itself.  But we have dogs.  Dogs who think it is their job to burst the eardrums of anyone...

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Attack of the Underroo Snatching Kitteh

Hello all! I am a person that has a hard time falling asleep at night.  I tend to toss and turn for an hour or two, and have always been this way.  Since, I became a mom, what little sleep I get is punctuated with multiple wake-ups brought on by the kiddos.  The real reason I am not having more than two kidlets is that I WOULD NEVER GET ANY DAMN SLEEP. Lola and Miles are totally in cahoots on this.  They never wake up at the same time.  They go in 45 minute intervals so that I never get more than half an hour of sleep at a time.  Kids are jerks. So, last night, I had finally managed to doze off after a good two hours of trying to get to sleep.  I had literally been asleep all of 30 minutes when I hear the pitiful “Mamaaaaaaaa” of my son through the baby monitor. I stumble out of bed and just as I am about to enter the hallway from our bedroom, I feel the part of my undies on my hip get caught on something. It is here I feel the need to point out that yes, I am a mostly nekkid sleeper.  You are welcome for that image.  But, I rock the undies for snooze time.  I mention this because it is very relevant to what happens next. I reach down to find the source of the snag and feel a kitty paw.  Dafuq?  Our little girl kitty Hermione was asleep on top of a clothes hamper that sits right at the entrance of our room.  As I walked by, she seemed to have decided that reaching out and smacking me on the ass with her claws was the hip thing to do. What happened...

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