Hello my darlings!
It is a fact of writerly life that we must sends our words out to others for feedback. This can come in many forms. Betas, Critique Partners, Agents, Editors, and so on.
You send your story out to these people in hopes that they will tell you what works and what doesn’t.
And with that comes notes.
*DRAMATIC MUSIC*
Oh man. Notes. Notes are hardcore.
I’ve said it before, I will say it again: There is no more vulnerable a feel for writers than sending the most personal inner-workings of your brain in word form off to other people to read and judge.
But, it has to be done. Once you’ve written something, you’re already in too deep to be able to see things that you’ve missed or that are too much. Sure, we can be objective about our own work, but not objective enough.
This is why a trusted crew of Betas and CPs is crucial, by the way. You need them. No way around it.
Even though we need these notes and feedback to make our stories the best they can be, I’m just going to be real here…It sucks to see your shit marked up.
Oh. God. It burns.
This is something you thought was in a state of near perfection and are hoping people will come back with, “OMG THIS IS THE BESTEST THING I HAVE EVER READ!!! CHANGE NOTHING!!!!”
Yeah. That doesn’t happen.
And if it does? You need better readers, dude.
You *need* to know what’s wrong. It’s life or death for your words. If you can’t see what’s not quite right, you need other people to help, and you need to listen.
Holy balls is that hard though.
When I get notes back, I read them, cringe as my mistakes are pointed out, and then walk away for a few days. I won’t lie, my first reaction is almost always to feel like a total failure. Like, if I was worth anything as a writer, there wouldn’t need to be notes, right?
Pssh. Fuck that.
So, after I nurse my wounds, I pull on my big girl underoos and dive back in.
Your critiquers aren’t whipping out the red pen (metaphorical or real) to hurt you or make you look bad. They aren’t trying to sabotage you. They aren’t working as a secret agent to ensure you fail.
No, they are giving you their thoughts as they read. Some of them you really need to listen to. Some of them you can take under advisement and consider. Some you can ignore.
I mean, it’s your book, dude. Do what you will with it.
Even when I get notes from my agent, she always makes sure to remind me these are just her suggestions. It’s my story. I can take her thoughts or leave them.
Do I usually take them? Hell yeah I do. The gal knows her shiz. I signed with her for such reasons.
Do I usually take my CPs and Betas advice? Hell yeah I do. They be smart peoples. That’s why I keep them around.
I’ve run into several different types of writers over the last year or so who have very different feels about beta reading and notes. Some people flat out refuse to have Betas.
Good luck with that.
Some people only send out their stories because they want people to tell them how awesome the book is, and will genuinely get angry with you if you don’t say exactly that.
Again…good luck with that…
Seriously. I’ve seen friendships end over honest notes.
Don’t be like that. It’s douchey.
But then the people wonder why their story isn’t being scooped up by agents or publishers…
I’ve gotten a little gun-shy about betaing sometimes because I am that concerned with how people will take the notes. I try to be honest with my feelings, so that means I will point out something I don’t think works. I always try to do it in a nice way, but sometimes, people don’t want to hear it no matter how you package it.
(Side note: I am the slowest Beta in the UNIVERSE. Seriously. I have manuscripts built up from months ago, and damn it, I am going to get through them. I love you all, and please don’t hire someone to break my knees… You’re so pretty.)
The bottom line is that in this industry, people are going to mark your shit up. That’s the reality. If you don’t have the stomach for that, you may want to reconsider your career choice.
Your agent is going to suggest notes. Your editor is going to suggest notes. That’s just the way it is. Your being difficult about feedback is soooooo not a good sign. If you can’t take criticism from people who are only trying to make your story as strong as it can be, well, you’re not going to get very far.
Books are always a team effort. A group of trusted individuals brought together to make the vision in your brain the strongest it can possibly be. There is a reason that editors and agents and CPs get so much love in acknowledgement sections of books. Because that book probably wouldn’t be on the shelves without the notes from those people.
Be grateful for the constructive criticism. Be grateful that someone cares enough to take the time to read and give a damn enough to write you notes. Be grateful that you have the ability to write something for others to read.
If you are a writer looking for CPs or Betas, there are soooo many resources out there for you to utilize! Hit up Twitter and get your networking on! Check out CPSeek.com (The guy who runs that site is super cute and has a bitchingly Fizzy wife, 
) and lit agent Jessica Sinsheimer has a badass site as well: How About We CP.
The best advice I can give in the end is to always keep an open mind. Be appreciative of the effort that others are willing to put into you because they believe in your talent.
And when you find your core group of trusted readers? Hold onto them like you’ve found a diamond dust farting unicorn because those people are priceless.
I hope you all are having fabulous weeks!
Until next time,
Peace, Love, and Diamond Dust Farting Unicorns!!
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